I’ll find a better way.

How do the activists of the world keep active when their personal problems seem to overpower the focus of their activism?  Or am I just more selfish than I should be?  I find when it’s raining, it’s pouring – I can’t focus on my . . . focus.  So, now that I’ve straightened out all my stupid relationships, living situation, etc., perhaps it’s time to get back on the wagon?  And then there’s the issue of sometimes feeling like what I’m doing won’t work, like my plan is bound to fail, I have fear that I won’t touch anyone.  Oh why – oh why, did I pick such a competitive and emotionally charged career . . . or why did I make it so political?

Because I love it, and I don’t want to be a professional waitress/bartender.  Or do anything inside any form of office building.  And I just can’t bear the thought of making art just for “art’s sake,” in fact I have trouble figuring out what that means/what the point would be.  And I suffer from massive guilt when I live only for myself.  Oh, THAT’S RIGHT, that’s why.  Sometimes it just feels like shooting in the dark.  I’m not exactly a super shot with the lights on . . .

“Mi amore vole feh.”  My love needs faith.

Explanation. This is a very long, self-indulgent post.

This post is half for you/half for me.  I feel absolutely terrible about this, but I think in the long run it will have all been for the best.

As we all know, I have two beautiful ferrets, Mina and Fin.

I adopted them last May (2010).  At that time, I had started missing my rats immensely, but didn’t want to break my own heart again by adopting family members that have a lifespan of 2-3 years.

Rats, being like little dogs, my next mental jump was the idea of getting a dog.  My dog, Sam, was very elderly (died in July of the same year) and didn’t live with me.  However, lived in a building that didn’t allow dogs, and lived with someone who didn’t want a dog – regardless.

I looked into rabbits, skunks, you name it . . . eventually I visited my friend Marie, she had several ferrets and I fell in love.  Shortly thereafter, I had adopted Mina and Fin.  Mina and Fin were fantastic for me at the time, they were my friends, my babies, my responsibility.  I just needed something that was mine. My life was pretty much in that apartment, with those ferrets.  When I went out at night, they stayed home and were there waiting for me when I came back.

Probably needless to say, I’m almost a different person now.  My life has changed drastically . . . for one thing, I met my soulmate.

He’s an American Eskimo dog mix named Rudy.  Rudy likes all the things I do, snow, food, cuddling, being active, hell – he even likes beer (though he’s only ever tasted it by being sneaky, unbeknownst to me).  Most of all, Rudy is very mobile.  He can go on road trips, long walks, hikes, etc. – and likes doing so!  I have an increasing case of wanderlust, traveling a lot lately, and potentially moving out of the state soon.  Rudy, can easily come with me.  Ferrets cannot.  Not easily, anyways.

I’ve always HATED those people who post their animals on Craig’s List saying “they’re just not getting the attention they deserve.”  Now I’m one of them.  Grrreat.

I guess I felt inclined to post this in ze blog because I wanted to be able to post the Craig’s List post to my Facebook incase one of my 900 friends is interested in the weasels.  Post, post, post.  That is, if the asshole who keeps flagging my post can figure out that I’m not violating any ‘terms and conditions’ or whatEVER.

Okay.  Now I’m annoying myself.  You get the idea.

Live for today.

Yesterday’s gone – tomorrow may never come.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la.

Viva Glam, viva knowledge!

Hola, friends!  As you may or may not know, I have a tendency to suck quite a bit of inspiration from celebrities.  Be it Neil Young and Farm Aid, or Mariska Hargitay and The Joyful Heart Foundation, it fills me with hope and motivation to see fortunate people using their art and gifts to help others.  You also may or not know that I am very concerned with the things that I put in or on my body.  Be it humanely raised meat, organic veggies, chemical-free make-up, or even the glasses I drink out of, I try to be as informed as possible about most things I put in me.

M.A.C. cosmetics launched VIVA GLAM in 1994 to support those living with HIV/AIDS.  This year, two of my favorite blonds have teamed up with M.A.C.’s Viva Glam – Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga.  Well.  Viva Glam is a beautiful thing – as far as the mission goes.  Though they do not test on animals (I wouldn’t mention them if they did), M.A.C. is not as chemical-free as I generally like my cosmetics.  They’re about a 5 out of 10 on the potentially cancer-causing and pore-clogging ingredient list, I’m still going to stick with my Jane Iredale and Gabriel Cosmetics.  Nevertheless, I think Viva Glam is a step in the right direction for celebrities and corporations, both . . . though let’s not get into my opinions on corporations . . .

I guess all I’m really getting at is that I am torn between being impressed by the Viva Glam project and being non-supportive of the actual products.  I suppose this is turning into a rant . . .

As an end note, I urge you to research your cosmetics thoroughly.  If you eat organically, humanely, or locally – ask yourself why you put thought, effort, and funds into things that you swallow – but not things you absorb through your skin?  It’ll get in there one way or another.  The Cosmetics Database is a good start – kind of a wonky site, and not entirely reliable, but it’s better than nothing.  It doesn’t take a genius to avoid endocrine disruptors, carcinogens, and reproductive toxins . . .

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not perfect, and I definitely don’t know everything.  I’m open to any kind of learning and new information.  Though, I firmly believe in putting forth effort where you can – and helping others and yourself is an easy way to do so!  You might be addicted to Camel Filters or Johnny Walker, but are you addicted to Estée Lauder?  Shouldn’t be – because you can find the exact same results in a much less toxic product.

Saving baby bats.

See here.

My dad said, “they’re saving baby bats?  That wouldn’t happen in this country.”

America, almost as far behind on human rights are we are non-human rights.  Lovely, just lovely.  Nothing like a little illustration inspiration.  To the Batcave!  Or whatever.

Gaiman, again, speaks to my life.

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

-Neil Gaiman

(perfect).

Helmets.

“Helmets are like men, you don’t know what you’re missing until you find a better one.”  I got a new helmet today, and it fits better than a helmet has ever fit me before.  This helmet totally spoils me, like with it’s headphones built in that connect right into my iPod so I can listen to my shredding jams, not to mention it looks fantastic on me.